Everything

Wow..Another day and it will be December,the last month of 2011.This year it seems like my blog entries have reduced quite significantly.Will try to be a better blogger the next year,hopefully.

Many things happened this year which i never ever thought would.The first would be studying in KL,in Sunway College.It was really an eye opening experience and i was glad to be able to share it with my sister.We had many 'first' in this period,first time going on plane without family,first time driving to KL,first time driving in KL,first time preparing and planning our meals and etc...It wasn't easy to be away from home and having to be so independent but i think we still managed to enjoy ourselves at the end of the day.

This year,we lost our dog,Brownie.He has been with us since he was a puppy,from when we stayed at a rented house to the current house we are living,and that is more 15 years.I still remember the day my papa brought him back..this little brown puppy,hiding under the sofa.An intelligent,playful and fierce dog but lovable..We really miss having him around.

Major house renovation...We had stayed in this house more than 10 years and after the flood,parents decided that it needs some modification.And now,we all have our own rooms,which is really amazing.Enjoying every space of the house especially the kitchen a lot.We have been cooking and baking and it really feels nice.

The end of my study life is almost coming (if i pass my exams which i am taking next week).It feels....weird right now,when i can finally put down the books and not having to worry about exams anymore.17 years of studying,that is really not a short period of time.So,to be able to adjust and get used to it,i think will take a little time.Anyway,i hope that working life will be alright and i won't miss study life too much.

People come and people go,that's the way of life.I lost an uncle this year,someone i never thought will leave us this early.He was a health-conscious man but somehow,something happened along the way and made him ill.Doctors,specialists and traditional healers were consulted,prayers were made and even spiritual healer was sought,but none could help him.Till today,none of us know what that something was that took his life.

And i learnt a few things about love.Love is important in a relationship.Without love,it will not work out no matter how hard you try.Love is also blind.You can be the wisest person,but when you fall in love,you can make the stupidest decision.Someone like you by Adele,"Sometimes it last in love but sometimes it hurts instead".Love can hurt sometimes,like a thousand arrows piercing through your heart,but you will learn from that.Learn to not be so blinded,to see whether it is the love you are looking for and to move on from there.Finally,you don't have to own someone to be able to love them.To let them go and find their happiness is also a way of loving.
(I hope that we will not regret the decisions we made,we will be able find our happiness and love the one we chose)

I am very blessed to have my friends.I appreciate what you have done for me,being there for me...no matter whether it was a sunny or rainy day,no matter whether i was being mean or nice,no matter whether i was looking like a crazy person.Thank you so much!

These are the big events in my life for this year...it is not the end yet,so there might be another post.I hope i won't be too lazy or too busy enjoying the holidays.

Got to call it a night now...Tomorrow is another long day of study study study.Hope i will do well for my exams.

Today

I questioned myself lately as to whether i have a heart which can feel or a rock.And today answered my question.I am glad i am not that heartless.I still have a heart and not a rock.

The answer?

I have fallen in love,

What should i do?
It hurts so much,

But i want to keep on hurting.

I came upon this yesterday while i was watching a movie,Lovers' Concerto.It made me think whether is this the answer to what LOVE means..that even though it hurts when you are in love,you would rather continue feeling the hurt instead of giving it up.

Sorry

I am really...

SORRY.

Committed

The person whom you choose to marry

is perhaps the single most vivid representation of your personality.

Your spouse becomes the most gleaming possible mirror

through which your emotional individualism is reflected back to the world.

....that choice tells us,to a large extent,who you are.

~ Elizabeth Gilbert~

Glad

Back together.

Happy that everything is solved.

And hopes that it will last.

Answer

I wish i can see the future,

then i won't be so uncertain now.

I wish i know the answer,

then i won't waste your time.

HEADACHE!

A break

A break is what i need.

I think.

I feel.

But i am not sure.

This word

What is..

'LOVE' ?

I thought i know what this word means..but only to realise that i actually don't.

It always seem so easy to tell whether other people are in love or not but why when it comes to ourselves,it is not as easy?

Is it possible for friends to become lovers?Is it possible for love to start growing from nil?

Why is it that there are people who can ignore the inner beauty and just judge from the outer?Is that ALL that matters?No wonder there are girls who go for plastic surgery.

Just hope that i can clear this mess in my head and heart and get it sorted out.Don't want it to bother me for my exam which is coming SOON.I am NOT going to allow myself to fail again.NOT NOT NOT...

I miss

It is funny how we are always not content with what we have.
We always either want something new and better,
Or want what we used to have.
Why can't we be happy with whatever it is now?
Why do we have to think so much?

Some things that aren't meant to be ours,
we should let it go.

New relationship

Don’t be afraid of a New Relationship

Liken it to boarding a new Ship

Exciting, new things to enjoy and explore

Two walking together through a new open door.

Don’t shy away from a New Relationship

The pain of the past needn’t make you quit

In life, sometimes we get it wrong

At other times, we find a bond so strong.

Don’t run away from a New Relationship

Hold on tight, don’t lose a grip

Let go of the past and move on

Bask in the presence of your new Loved one.

Don’t give up on a New Relationship

Invest, time, love and Romance in it

So you did it before, your partner didn’t care?

This is a New one, don’t be biased, be fair.

I was once afraid of a New Relationship

Couldn’t get myself to relax one bit

Waiting for something to go wrong any minute

And then I could justify leaving it.

So, I plead, stay in your New Relationship

Give it a chance to bloom, don’t quit

Love, trust and support your Other Half

Step by step, may life lead you to Love’s blissful path.

I was surfing the net and found this in HubPages.Thought that it is something nice to share with everyone.But i think this is especially meaning to those who are uncertain and afraid of starting a new relationship after having to go through some rough ones in the past.

Realised

Missing you

Missing someone gets easier every day because even though it's one day further from the last time you saw each other, it's one day closer to the next time you will.

A bit of everything

I have been so lazy to blog the past few weeks.Not that there is nothing to but i was just pure lazy and my brain didn't feel like putting everything into words.I did try to write a few times but ended up with me staring at my lappy screen.

So,this post is gonna be a 'rojak'...a bit of everything that has happened.

For this semester,i am still studying in Penang at the same college.The only difference is that my sis is not going there with me.She has decided to try self-studying so i now travel alone.Luckily i am only attending classes for one subject so there is only two days of classes.Lectures are this stage are really stressful.Firstly,i am SO TIRED from waking up early and driving to class.What used to be 15minutes to class is not 2hours to class.Secondly,the lecturer is like a bullet train,no time for me to think for answers,just writing and writing and writing.Besides that,my coursemates are all so smart and hardworking.I feel so 'dong dong'.In addition to that,this is a continuous paper which i took a year ago from another college,so you can imagine how rusty i am plus the adaption i need to make.All those really makes going to lecture a nightmare these days.

I had a quiet birthday this year.Though it was just a simple one,but definitely it was as memorable as the ones before.I had some friends over from KL to spend it with me which was quite fun.I brought them to Lunas,Kulim to experience 'kampung' lifestyle.We visited a few temples and tasted the supposedly famous roast duck.The trip ended with dinner at Kuala Kedah together my family.

Dance dance is still as usual.I think i have improved a little bit but still not as good as i hoped to be.Got to practice harder,not miss class too much and try to remember what i have learned every week.I wish there will be no more obstacles preventing me from continuing the classes.

I have been spending so much time with my friends.But unfortunately,they have to either go back to study or start work soon.Going to miss them so much.

I am still mixing around,getting to know more people.No harm in knowing more and i don't think there is a limit to the number of friends one can have.So,decisions will only be made when i am ready and certain.

I am trying to gain some weight now.Mummy and some friends have been complaining that i am too thin and my coursemate said i am anorexic.I am thin but i am certainly not anorexic.Reason why i lost weight was because my meal time was too screwed up during exam period and that caused me to skip meals.I didn't bother to change it thinking that i look alright being this thin.Only when i was out shopping for clothes did i realise that it is a problem.So,i am currently adjusting my sleep time,no more late nights and late mornings (trying to reduce my eyebags too).Also,my meal portions have increased and i eat more frequently too.My target is to achieve 50kg...

That's all i can think of for now.Got to go and get some stuff done and wait for my twin to call me to go out.Enjoy tonight and start studying tomorrow... (Hopefully la...)

Freedom

Better not tell me
what i should do,

who i can or cannot hang out with,
how to spend my time,
how i should feel.

Be yourself and
let me decide by myself.

Love?

Can someone tell me how to differentiate love and like?
How can one be sure that it is THAT person and not the others?
I used to think i know but i actually don't.

True friends

I have always heard people talking about how true friends stand by you through thick and thin,to share your happiness and tears and never fail to be there.I believe in it but then,i didn't experience it till recently.It is really amazing and i am so grateful to have my friends,best friends.For the sake of my friends and my family,i can give up anything.They are my everything and i cannot lose them.

Been thinking

Thought it was a dream,and hope that it was,but it isn't.

I want something simple and easy.One which doesn't require so much effort.One which i can sit back and enjoy.

I am really tired and my heart thinks it is best that i just stop here.

I just don't want to know anything.I want to enjoy myself and my life.I want to concentrate on things which i should care about now.

Better think and decide about where i am going to study.Only a week before lectures start and i am still unsure.

Situation

Don't like..
Difficult,complicated situations.
Prefer something which..
I have control over,
doesn't involve people i care,
doesn't need me to stress about,
easy to deal with and come out with a decision.

Make decisions from the heart and use your head to make it work out.
-- Sir Girad

Decisions

I dislike having to make decisions.
Left or right.
One or two.
Blue or red.
Why do i have to choose?
Can i just leave it,
and let God decides for me?

Having to weigh everything,
spoils the fun in them.

I just feel like not bothering,
not deciding,
not doing anything,
and just enjoy.

If it is meant to be mine,
it shall be mine,
no matter how long i take,
to decide.
F.A.T.E.